


Ma Fen, Ma Lath

by LunaTick



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Damn you trespasser, Drabble, Egg helf hell, I'm in a downward spiral, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 01:49:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4768997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaTick/pseuds/LunaTick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A quick drabble post-trespasser in which Solas visits his Lavellan in her dreams. Damn you, Bioware *shakes fist*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ma Fen, Ma Lath

**Author's Note:**

> This drabble is likely not very good at all. Was simply just something I felt compelled to write after that Trespasser ending. This was thrown together pretty quickly so sorry if it feels all jumbled or has poor grammar/spelling. 
> 
> I almost wanted to turn this into a small series but I have zero idea where I would go with it. Maybe I'll do that one day. With writing that doesn't suck :P
> 
> I am in solavellan hell.  
> In. Too. Deep.
> 
> Enjoy (hopefully).

It had been several weeks since they had met in The Crossroads. Weeks since he had finally made true on his promise and all was made clear to her.

Since their meeting, she had spent the majority of her time attempting to process the information given to her. She had sworn to try and save him from himself, from his past and his guilt. She still had no idea how it is that she would manage to do such a thing, but refused to give up regardless. 

After the fall of Corypheus, she had spent the following two years (between unnecessary parties and actions of diplomacy) searching for him. She had done little else in her spare time. Every evening when sleep would finally come she would search for him in the fade. When she awoke she would badger her informants for information and search for new informants with different skills that may be able to find something the others didn't. It had all been for naught, for they had found nothing. 

But she had found him. Damn it, she had found him. Solas had told her everything she had been aching to know for two years. She knew that he loved her, that what they had was real, despite having doubted it on more occasions she could count. His pain was readily apparent. This time, he didn't hide it. The mask had been removed. She saw the tears in his eyes as he described the fall of Arlathan. As he spoke of what he had done. That there had been no other alternative, but he felt the guilt nonetheless. He had called her Vhenan and she felt her heart tear apart inside of her chest. 

"Var lath vir suledin," she tried to plead with him.  
"I wish it could, vhenan," he had replied. She felt her shoulders slump, knew that for now there was nothing she could do to change his mind. She watched him turn from her, walk through the eluvian and lock it behind him.  
"Ar lath ma," she whispered to no one.

But he had kissed her. Said he would never forget her. For now, that would have to be enough. For now, she would resign to wait and plan and find him again. Perhaps after some thought he would be more willing to listen.

***

Since their meeting, while she dreamed she saw him. For the first few nights she shrugged it off as just a wolf. The fade bending to her mind, showing her what she wished to see. Every time she would approach the wolf he would seemingly evaporate, gone from view. But the next night he would be there, watching her with kind yet sad eyes. When the dream became a nightly occurrence she conceded it was surely him, content to watch her from afar even if only in the fade.

"Ma fen," she would say upon spotting him. He would only nod to her in response. If she didn't approach him he would stay, watching her, keeping his distance. Even from a distance she could see the sadness in his eyes. The internal war he was waging with only himself, torn between coming to her and staying away. Torn between listening to her pleas and simply watching over her for as long as he possibly could. Most nights she would simply greet him, and carry on to explore the fade. He would follow her, ensuring to never get too close, content to simply make sure she was safe.

Some nights were not like this. Some nights she would give in to her heartbreak, her grief. She would sit after greeting him, pleading with him. Sometimes she would get angry, other times she would cry. Not often, but sometimes, she would approach him simply to make him leave her dreams for she could not bear to look at him. He was always unwavering, staring at her with those eyes and shaking his head. He never spoke to her, but she knew what he wished he could say. _Ir abelas, vhenan. I walk the Din'Anshiral._ The words almost echoed in her head. 

***

Several more weeks passed. Their routine remained the same. She no longer would plead with him, there was no use in exacerbating grief for the both of them. 

One evening she woke in the fade, surrounded by stone and murals on the walls. She recognized the temple in the crossroads where she had learned of what Fen'Harel had truly done. She scrambled to her feet, eagerly looking around the room for him. Upon realizing he was not there, she ran outside. It was... raining. _Does it usually rain in the Crossroads?_ she wondered. 

But he was there, and he was Solas. 

There were only clouds and mist in the sky. The absence of light and colour was jarring. "Vhenan," she whispered, marveling at the sight of him. He turned towards her slowly, a sheepish look on his face. There was so much he wanted to say, but could not bring himself to utter a word. 

The rain came harder. 

She stared at him, her darling man of night. Her wolf, her heart. He faced her now, the rain forcing his robes to cling to his body. From his shoulders to his chest, his hips and thighs. _Creators,_ she thought. _He is so lovely._

He looked at her, the rain forcing her clothing to cling to her form as well. Her raven hair falling around her face, her lips a shade of red. The colour of unexpected desire. Her face free of the vallaslin. _My desire is not unexpected. She is so beautiful._ he thought. 

Leaving him no chance to react, she was on him in a few quick strides. She threw her arm around his neck, drawing him close. Breathing him in, she collided against his mouth with her own. She felt his arms encircle her and she sighed into their kiss, contentment washing over her. She parted her lips, inviting his tongue into her mouth. He couldn't say no, crushing her body against his and tasting her.

As quickly as they had come together, he pulled away. She heard thunder in the distance, a resounding _boom_ , and he was gone. She grabbed at the air, willing him to return to her. He did not.

She fell to her knees, suppressing sobs that threatened to rack her body. He was with her. He had kissed her. They had kissed and in that moment she felt complete acceptance, tranquility. Happiness. For a moment more he was hers and in half of a blink of an eye he was gone.

She forced herself out of the fade, waking in her own bed, shivering and alone. She knew she could change his mind. Strengthening her resolve, she quickly packed and quietly left her home, informing none of her plans. They would find a letter on her desk the next day.

_I must take this moment to profess that the pain of being alone is nowhere near as maddening as the pain of losing your one great love._  
_But in that moment I felt complete love. Complete happiness. Complete acceptance._  
_Ma fen, ma lath. My wolf, my love. I am coming for you. I will find you, and we will fix this together. In a way that it should be fixed._  
_In that moment all of the pain, the confusion had been vindicated._  
_He can vindicate anything with one perfect kiss._  
_Do not try to find me._  
_Var lath vir suledin._

_\- (Former) Inquisitor Lavellan_


End file.
